Ole wants a job, but the foreman won’t hire him until he passes a little math test.

Here is your first question, the foreman said. ‘Without using numbers, represent the number 9.’

‘Without numbers?’ Ole says, ‘Dat’s easy.’ and proceeds to draw three trees.

‘What the hell is this?’ the boss asks.

‘Vot! you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine,’ says Ole.

‘Fair enough,’ says the boss. ‘Here’s your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99.’

Ole stares off into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. ‘Dar ya go.’

The boss scratches his head and says, ‘How in the hell do you get that to represent 99?’

‘Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it’s dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99.’

The boss is getting worried that now he might actually have to hire this dumb Norwegian, so he says, ‘All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.’

Ole stares far into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, ‘Dar ya go. Von hundred.’

The boss looks at the attempt. ‘You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!’

Ole leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, ‘A littl e dog come along and pooped by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, vich makes von hundred.’

‘So, ven do I start der ya know? ‘

Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office… But she was dating someone else.

One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, ‘I’ll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you…

The girl looked at him, and then said, ‘NO!’

Eddie said, ‘I’ll be real fast. I’ll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and I’ll finish by the time you’ve picked it up.’

She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend… So she called him and explained the situation.

Her boyfriend says, ‘Ask him for $200, and pick up the money really fast. He won’t even be able to get his pants down.’

She agreed and accepts the proposal.

Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend’s call.

Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks, ‘What happened…?’

Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, ‘The bastard had all dimes!’